So I know I promised to post DAYS ago, but I get so caught up in my life that I forget I have a blog sometimes. Its 5:45 AM and no one is awake to talk to and of course my fucking boyfriend, (if you even want to call him that sometimes) comes home from work and goes straight into his “office”. I’m tempted to move his bed and TV into the office and give him his own room because I’m tired of being ignored. Seriously, I’m a girl.. with needs. Not just sexual needs, emotional ones too. I need to be wanted, and loved. Some days we don’t say even a word to each other. What kind of relationship is that? A dysfunctional one that’s what. I realize relationships are hard work, and eventually you lose the spark. But there’s a thin line between our spark is gone, and just friends. I think we’re on the boarder of just friends and neither of us want to admit it. If something doesn’t change soon we’re going to end up miserable and past our prime to find someone new. I hate wasting my time, and that’s what this feels like to me. Just dragging out the inevitable. You know he told me to quit smoking, so I did. (because that was a deal breaker for him) Should I tell him that the amount of time he spends on his computer or talking on the phone about “biz developments” is a deal breaker for me? Honestly I admire his drive and love the passion he puts into his work, but really, show me some of that passion and drive. In the beginning of our relationship you were loving sweet and caring, what the hell happened? Am I living as part of your lie? Did you lie to hook me and string me along for the ride until you get bored with me and move on?? Today isn’t starting out great maybe I’ll go be a pussy and cry about my feelings.. or write a letter telling you exactly how I feel, oh shit i just did that.
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